To Forgive And Forget

"One day Peter asked, 'Master, how many times should I forgive someone who keeps wronging me? Religious people agreed that it was fair to forgive a person three times but Peter generously suggested, 'how about seven times?' Jesus smiled and shook his head. 'No Peter,' he said, 'seventy times seven is nearer the mark."

"Forgive and forget." I have encountered this phrase about a million times over in my life, and it's one of those that I'd personally like to brand as ''cliche!"

Some people say it's rather easier to forgive, yet difficult to forget, and others say and think the other way around. If you ask me, neither one is "easier'' nor ''difficult.''

 

I am no stranger to fights or falling-outs. And I am well aware that being in that situation is rather unpleasant, all because I'd always have to CHOOSE between forgiving and forgetting the person(s) who has/have wronged me. Quite honestly, I barely know of a time when I did both.

But here's the thing: I've noticed that whenever I try to ''forget'' someone (and claim to have forgiven that person), sooner or later thoughts about that person would resurface in my mind, and we all know that it can't be helped (human as we are). And the danger there is that, if the thoughts come out in a bad way, then surely I'd be talking smack about that person again, just as I did prior to ''forgiving, yet forgetting" him/her. Well it obviously isn't forgiveness, is it?

On the other hand, when I choose NOT to forget my wrongdoer yet decide NOT to forgive him/her, I feel very heavy inside- as if there were elephants trapped inside my chest. It is all because I keep a grudge and refusing to let the faults/misdeeds go when they all need to. 

The bottom line is, you cannot really do away with either one (i.e., forgiving or forgetting). As much as we all refuse to face that fact, these two actions MUST always go together. Here's the deal: if Jesus had ''forgotten'' about those who had done him wrong, then why are those people able to receive his blessings still? I mean, why are they still able to eat, sleep at night, possess things, experience life's joys, etc. the same way that His faithful friends/followers do? And on the other hand, if He kept a grudge and never forgave sinners, then why are WE still here? Why does He continue to love us, considering the weight of our sins?

Ergo, the reason why Jesus advised Peter that forgiveness is done ''seventy times seven."

Contributed by:

Maria Inez Lacaya Ocampo

Student Respiratory Therapist